The Intensely REAL story of Bella and Edward
by unthoughtknown95
Summary: this story is intense randomness involving the REAL bella and edward. cowritten with H8rofJacobLuvrofEdward123 OOC BxE ...please review! WE DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!
1. Chapter 1

**Umm hey I'm writing this with my awesome friend Sarah ( H8rofJacobluvrofEdward123). We're just writing it for fun so it's not gonna be that great or anything. It will actually be INTENSELY great. XDD Anyway. It's probably just gonna be a oneshot. Review please even If you hate it! D**

**Disclaimer: we don't own twilight, SM does etc etc….**

Edward walked intensely into Bella's bedroom only to find her intensely sitting at her desk working intensely on some new intense project.

"What are you doing Bella?" asked Edward intensely curious. "Um…." Bella replied intensely . "Well…."

"Just spit it out!"

"I'm making a list of reasons why I intensely hate Jacob."

Edward smiled. "May I see it?" He said looking at her ……. INTENSELY.

He picked up the list and began reading:

_Ten reasons why I INTENSELY hate Jacob_

_By Bella Swan_

_1. He intensely dislikes Edward_

2. He's freaking HIDEOUS!!!!

_3. He told Charlie about the motorcycle_

4. He convinced me to jump off that cliff

_5. He's not very intense_

6. He kissed me intensely without my permission!

_7. His hair is intensely greasy (trust me, I would know)_

8. He's a freaking DOG

_9. I think you know…._

10. What's not to hate about him?

"I intensely enjoy number 5," said Edward.

"Me too." said Bella sitting in her mahogany chair with the lamp light hitting her facials intensely with

the heat of the lamp hitting the her silk smooth hair. Edward rubbed her intensely pale hands aggressively as Bella tried to intensely shove his perfectly tanned hands of hers.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella?"

"Why are your hands intensely tan?" she asked.

"Why are your hands intensely pale?" Edward fired back intensely.

"Humph." she inputted into this intensely intense conversation.

They both suddenly became aware of their hands an as Bella hid her hands down her shirt Edward followed her lead doing the same to her shirt.

"What DA MESS are you doin in my shirt BOI???!!!!" Bella screamed intensely.

**So what exactly WAS Edward doing in Bella's shirt??? And why are Edward's hands tan??? Review and find out!!! And If you haven't noticed, this is a very intense chapter XD and when we say intense, we mean INTENSE. D**

**-Molly and H8ofJacobluvrofEdward123**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks PenArtist10000 for our first review!!! Okay here's the second INTENSE chapter as you requested. XD our friend Missy is also helping with this INTENSE chapter.**

_Last time…_

"What DA MESS are you doin in my shirt BOI???!!!!" Bella screamed intensely.

Edward looks down suspiciously at his shirt to discover Bella's hand in his pants.

"What DA MESS are you doin intensely in my pants GURH????!!!!!" Edward fires back intensely.

"Well… um….. I don't know how my hand got in there!!!!! My hand is not INTENSE!!!!!!! What the MESS?!!!!! " Bella replied. "Wait… what were we talking about again???"

"Umm…I remember! Did you remember to take your nose spray Bella?"

"Word?" Bella replied. "WAIT that's not it…. Oh yea so why are your hands so intensely tan????"

Intense Shudder " I don't want to talk about it….. Its to INTENSE" Edward replied as he turns his head to remember the "flash back"

_The day started out like any other day would. I had no idea what was in my near INTENSE future…_ _It all started with…ALICE… She had just got home from the store and had come home with some tanning cream. No one was planning to use it… but that was where they were wrong… Alice carelessly yet almost… intensely … left it on the mahogany counter top in the sitting room and started chasing me around the room. Carlisle walked in not knowing what was happening… While Alice was intensely running, not noticing Carlisle, she bumped into him, sending him intensely flying through the air right into that beautiful mahogany counter top with the tanning cream. The cream sailed through the air, opened up, and sprayed all over my intensely pale unsuspecting hands._


	3. Chapter 3

-1**Thanks everyone for the reviews! It intensely inspired us to write another intense…chapter. Word. **

**Last time…**

_The cream sailed through the air, opened up, and sprayed all over my intensely pale unsuspecting hands._

Bella started intensely sobbing. "Oh Edward I had no idea that flashback would be so intense!"

"Sorry dude," Edward replied in a redneck accent.

…….Bella continued to sob intensely until Edward said that one sentence. "Since WHEN do you have an intense redneck accent?!?!? AHHH this is all just too…..INTENSE!!!!!"

"Well it ain't my cotton-pickin fault that I were raised in Redneck, Alabama! Now get er done!" Edward yelled intensely.

"GOSH!" Bella said in an intensely Napoleon Dynamite accent. "FRICKIN IDIOT!" **(A/N-if you don't know what we're talking about, then you need to get out more)**

"How much longer are you going to be redneck Edward?"

"How much longer are you going to be Napoleon Bella?"

"**FINE! **I'll keep it fricky fricky fricky freshhhh. Ya know…mix it up a bit yo." Bella intensely said. Bella walked over to her mahogany closet and pulled out a gangster chain.

"Ay yo dawg!!! Dis my blang blang if ya get my drift homie G !!!! Foshizzle my nizzle skizzle to the wizzle!" Bella said very gangsta like.

"Pardon?" Edward said intensely, suddenly proper again.

"Don't be hatin on my mahogany closet of wonders fool!"

crickets……………crickets

"Is that what kids are calling it these days? Your "mahogany closet of wonders"?" Edward looks intensely shocked.

**So what exactly IS the so called "Mahogany closet of wonders"? find out in the next chapter of The Intensely REAL story of Bella and Edward!!!! If you actually read this story and don't review this we will not write another chapter-sarah noo we will write another chapter no matter what!-molly molly & sarah: but it may be a while before we see each other again to write another chapter so please review and make us feel loved! D ……………….. INTENSLY LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Oh and sorry everyone who was expecting an extremely intense chapter. We promise the next one will be so intense it will rock your imaginary socks off. THAT'S how intense it shall be. XDDD**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! if you read this story please review even if you don't like it we accept flames! anyway on with the intensity of the next intense chapter in the intensely real story of bella and edward!!!!! DDD btw you most likely won't understand this chapter more if you looked on Youtube and searched "old greg" lol...**

_Last time..._

"_Is that what kids are calling it these days? Your "mahogany closet of wonders"?" Edward looks intensely shocked._

"Ummm...p'chea!" Bella intensely replied, suddenly not gangsta anymore.

Bella then stepped into her Mahogany Closet and after a few intense moments, stepped out with a pink tutu and a seaweed wig.

"I'm Old Greeeeg!" she intensely said.

Edward watched intensely from the other side of the room trying to figure out what Bella meant by that intense statement.

Suddenly out of nowhere some intense techno music started playing.

Bella started dancing around the room, her eyes locked intensely with Edward's.

"Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me? I just wanna know what to do cuz i need your love a lot. Do ya love me? Are you playing your love games with me? Oh come on now." Bella continued to intensely sing and dance.

Edward then broke out into song, but not as old greg, "Moving too fast, this isn't a race ooooh!! Baby back off and lower the pace now!! Slow it down and give me some space, mmmh!! Moving too fast, this isn't a race. AHH AHH!!!

Bella continued singing the song intensely. "Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me?  
I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot  
Oh come on now."

"Moving too fast this isn't a race ooooh  
Will you back off and lower the pace now?  
Slow it down, and give me some place.  
Moving too fast this isn't a race."

"I'm Old Gregg!" Bella sang. 

"I know I think you said," Edward sang back to bella then busted an intensely funky fresh dance move. 

"Come on don't make me beg now  
'cause I'm not your regular guy  
don't be shy." Bella sang. 

"Do you love me?" they both finished the song.

Bella looked intensely surprised at herself. "Wow i don't know what came over me!!!"

They both turned their heads simutaneously to see the rest of the Cullens in the doorway clapping.

Bella and Edward exchanged an awkward yet...intense...glance.

"Niiiiceee," Jasper and Emmett said while trying not to laugh. Even Rosalie smiled.

"So this is what you do in your spare time?" Carlisle asked amusedly yet intensely, astonished at what he'd just seen. Bella blushed.

"You saw all of that? The whole song?" Edward nervously asked.

The Cullens all nodded intensely.

"What are you all doing here anyway?" Bella asked.

"Alice told us to come over. She said it was important." Esme replied. Obviously Alice had seen them doing their "Do You Love Me?" dance and got the whole family to come and watch them humiliate themselves.

Bella and Edward turned to intensely glare at Alice. She looked away innocently.

"AAAAALLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bella and Edward intensely screamed.

**Just so ya know, Edward didn't see or hear his family's thoughts about their dancing and singing because he was too focused on the song. same 4 Bella. we hope thish chapter was intense enough for you guys. we don't own Old Greg or the Do ya loveme song or most importantly TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!!!! review please??? **


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